power of the sun

power of the sun
power of the water
power of the earth and wind
mother, father, son
i am your daughter
let me come home again
let me come home again

my story

it's a whole new language I gotta learn how to speak
to say what I've got to say
somewhere between striking with a knife
and turning the other cheek
not just look away
but deep inside the silence a woman starts to scream
is it his or her story?
hers or history?

it's a beautiful house and a beautiful yard
and a beautiful family
the mother was modern the father worked hard
the lovely children three
but every night at bedtime I could not trust my dreams
is it his or her story?
hers or history?

like a bird in a beautiful cage
or a rat in a maze
someone else's shadow play
(but I'm not going to play that game)
sometimes words that you say
or just the look on your face
makes me hide my head in shame
but I'm not going to lie for you no more
I'm going to tell my story my story my story

it's the cruelest betrayal the strongest taboo
this song, this wrong I gotta write
it's exactly the last thing that I want to do
start this losing fight
but deep inside the silence a woman starts to sing
is it his or her story?
hers or history?
my story, your story
his story, her story
my story

don't say a word

don't say a word or you're going to be sorry
shut up and go to sleep
no one would ever believe such a story
and silence is what you must keep
everyone knows that children are liars
and grown-ups have cornered the truth
don't say a word or I'll skin you alive
and besides, what have you got for proof?

don't say a word or you'll lose your whole family
they'll come take your daddy away
your mother will hate you for wrecking her life
and your brothers will curse you always
everyone knows he's a prince of a man
a fine and upstanding adult
because of your lies his whole kingdom could crumble
and child it would all be your fault

I don't know what to do with the voices
the voices that scream in my head
I don't know what to say to myself
when I think I'd be better off dead

don't say a word or we'll surely expose
that it's you who are wicked and vile
anything you say will be used against you
and now it is you here on trial
everyone knows that you don't stand a chance
it is you who will lose every time
don't say a word
just learn to accept
you're the victim of the perfect crime

the well

it hits you at the oddest moments
no it's not the moments at all
it's more the way it comes from deep
down in your marrow

it bubbles up beneath your skin
you struggle not to sink again
you can't afford to blink or it'll pull you in
down to that place you go

it wants to swallow up the sun
blot out all the work you've done
take away your voice and leave you dumb
dumb and hollow

it's coming and you want to run
you're stumbling and you're going numb
you're falling and you see you've come
back to that place you don't want to go

deep down down down down down down down in the well
deep down down down down down to hell I go
and I gotta drink there bitter waters for my thirst
and I gotta think it can't get worse

I do not want to know these things
I don't want to fall to my knees
I don't want to crawl and scream
ripping at the carpet

I do not want to show my face
I cannot live with this disgrace
I have completely lost all sense of place
and I've got nowhere to go

but down down down down down down down in the well
deep down down down down down to hell I go
and I gotta drink there bitter waters for my thirst
and I gotta think it can't get worse

I don't want to know
I don't want to go
I don't want to see
I don't want to believe
I don't want to choose
I don't want to lose
take away this bitter cup
tell me why would I make it up?

it hits you at the oddest moments
no it's not the moments at all
it's more the way it comes from deep
down in your marrow

perfect crime

it's the perfect crime, carried out on children
it's the perfect crime, nothing you can do
it's the perfect crime, no one will believe you
it's the perfect crime, no witnesses but you
now that you're grown, do you want to talk about it?
now that you're grown, do you want to take that risk?
now that you're grown, your own friends are gonna doubt it
say you're over-dramatizing
say you're looking for attention
say you must be fantasizing
saying it's not cool to mention

it's the perfect crime, carried out in silence
it's the perfect crime, on the trusting and the weak
it's the perfect crime, all they have to do's deny it
it's the perfect crime, and you will never speak
now that you're grown, after years of being threatened
now that you're grown, you just want to get away
now that you're grown, surely you have learned your lessons
there is no such thing as justice
there are words that can't be spoken
there is no one to be trusted
will the circle be unbroken?

all of my life I have been living in a dream
afraid of this awakening
all of my life I've been swallowing a scream
terrified of violence
afraid to break the silence
my own body would not let me
sure that they would come and get me

it's the perfect crime, just go ask my father
it's the perfect crime, and there's nothing I can do
it's the perfect crime, and I was the perfect daughter
for the perfect crime, until I told the truth
now that I'm grown, my perfect childhood gone forever
now that I've spoken somehow I'm the one they blame
now I'm alone, wasn't I so awfully clever?
well I thought I blew his cover but he's smelling like a rose
with the whole world in his corner
well that's just the way it goes
with the perfect crime
it's the perfect crime

ode to stephanie

I was driving along with my friend stephanie
babbling on about the goddess persephone
was she willing or was she raped?
and what did he tell her before she escaped?

it got me thinking about the old man lucifer
hades the name in the story of the girl
who only knew how to play
and she would surely believe every word you'd say

and I've been meaning to tell you for all of this time
he was the adult
and you were just a little girl and it was surely a crime
but it wasn't your fault
it wasn't your fault
it wasn't your fault

stephanie agreed and cheryl did too
it was time to grow up and fill those shoes
that were left us by the crone
oh but first we had to ascend that throne

and steph said I'm scared to be the queen
and I said yea, and I shuddered, thinking of that scene
where she tells the huntsman to bring back the heart
of the snow white princess alone in the dark

and I've been meaning to tell for all of these years
you ain't no pillar of salt
and I've been wanting to shake you and rattle your tears, girl
it wasn't your fault
it wasn't your fault
it wasn't your fault

hades and persephone sitting in a tree
next thing that you know they're k-i-s-s-i-n-g
first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes all the rage
feeling like you're underground or living in a cage

spring turns to summer, summer turns to fall
autumn turns to winter and nothing grows at all
mama is beside herself, calling out your name
you do not answer her, you cannot answer
you cannot answer for the shame

oh the shame was thick, it was thick as blood
red as pomegranate, strong as love
he was preying upon your needs
and so you swallowed that one little seed

and now you're a woman and still you're a girl
you're half underground and you're half in the world
and you're wanting to get to the sky
but you're weighted down by a great big lie

and I've been wanting to tell you now that you're grown
and you're the adult
you can rewrite the story and make it your own
cuz it wasn't your fault
it wasn't your fault
it wasn't your fault
it wasn't your fault

dreamfields

in the dream fields where I sleep
out beyond rhyme and reason
far beyond right and wrong
loyalty and treason
you talk to me there like a brother would
just small talk and pleasantries, it feels so good
no holy war, no sword, no mention of blame
or the the family name

in the dream fields there I keep
a sister's loving vision
of the hero of my youth
a man of strength and wisdom
and he talks to me there like a brother would
and he tells me he cares and it feels so good
and I tell him I love him and there is no shame
on the family name

i was only telling the truth the way they taught me
truth at all costs, truth at all costs
look what it cost me
look what it cost me
look what it cost
this truth with no proof

in the dream fields where I sleep
out beyond loss and sorrow
crystal soothing waters run
and a warm and gentle wind blows
and it talks to me there like a brother would
and the sun shines down all around and it feels so good
and the earth holds me up like a family should
if it only could
if it only would
in the dream fields

two taboos

see no evil, hear no evil
most of all, don't you speak no evil
see no evil, hear no evil
most of all don't you speak of evil

two taboos
one is for the father
two taboos
and one of them's for me
two taboos
don't you ever touch your daughter
but daughter even if he does
then you must never speak

we're all so careful to be polite
so politely we all look the other way
while in the silence of broad daylight
incest, child molest happens every day

but we see no evil, hear no evil
most of all we don't speak of evil...

they say that incest is the strongest taboo
but it goes unpunished all the time
but talk about it and they're sure to crucify you
breaking the silence seems to be the more dangerous crime

because we see no evil, hear no evil
most of all we don't speak of evil...

two taboos
one is for the father
two taboos
and the other one's for me...

too much

i love you too much to tell the truth
i love me too much to tell the lie
and so i hang myself with what's the use?
why try? why try?

there is nothing that i cherish more than my family
the ones of my birthing and the ones of my birth
though i've been forever scarred by both, i think you could say
i wear the marks proudly, for what they're worth

i love you too much to explain
i love me too much to deny
i only know how good it felt to be home again
and so i cry, i cry

so i drop the subject, i move far away from there
you've hurt us so deeply they want to say
you've hurt me so deeply i want to cry
but we come back again with beautiful smiles on our face
and we laugh, and we lie

but we enjoy the sacred rhythm of the family
subtle something lifelong feeling fitting so right
and all i have to do to keep this sweet mantle over me is be quiet
be polite

so i come back and i'm on self destruct mode
i want to binge I want to smoke
i want to choke the girl with the big brown eyes
for making the same deal that she made with love so long ago
to never be lonely and never be right

i love you long as I live
i love you forever and yet
for the sake of love god knows that i can forgive
but for the children
i can't forget

song for lisa

it had been so long since i'd seen you
i figured you were someplace dead
and then i hear that you're three years clear
and you're so full of life instead
you were the sister that i needed, the child i had lost
you made your way back home again and you paid the cost
you made your way back home again and you paid the cost

you told me you were getting your history straight
i told you so was i
we held each other and we cried
together hand in hand again we can let go of a lie
and lisa, i believe i could fly
you were the mother that i wanted
a companion through my fears
the friend i had in silence over all those years
you were the friend i had in silence over all those years

i don't know when i'm gonna see you again
when i might pass this way
but i hear you speak in the people i meet
i hear your voice every day
saying keep on moving full circle girl
keep on keeping on
bless this path you walk for it has made you strong
bless this path you walk for it has made you strong
bless this path you walk for it has made you strong
bless this path you walk for it has made you strong

secrets and lies

i got my secrets from my father and i passed them on to my daughter
i did not see that she would learn the same from me
i never laid a finger upon her but i did not treat her with honor
cuz every day i smoked my dope to run away

secrets and lies, yes i was a master at
secrets and lies, i thought I'd get it past her
everything outside looked just fine to me

but she saw, she knew, she got it, she grew
into the trouble i was leading her straight to
and now i see how she was watching me
she learned exactly what my life was there to teach

i believe we create the world in our families.
we either pass on our sad histories to our children,
or we give them the opportunity to create something new.
i finally got it that every time i took a drink or a drug
to run away from my past i was running right back into it's arms.
And i was passing that poison on to my children.
but no more. no more.

secrets and lies a family tradition
secrets and lies an internal condition
where everything outside looks just fine to you

but she saw, she knew, she got it, she grew
into the person that my life was leading to
and now i see how she was watching me
she learned exactly what my life was there to teach

And now i pray
just for today thati can live in such a way
that she is free and i can say...

i am moving from darkness into light
i am moving from blindness into sight
i am moving from confusion into clarity
from selfishness to charity

i am moving from dying into living
from anger into forgiving
i am moving from hatred into love
i am moving from loneliness into love
i am moving from fear into love

i am moving from fear into love
i am moving from fear into love
i am moving from fear into love
i am moving out of my fear into love
into love
i am moving into love

when you enter

when you enter into healing be prepared to lose everything
when you enter into healing be prepared to be alone
there is nothing that is sacred
there is no one who's inviolate
there may be nothing left
as you rip away the safety of every truth you've known

when you enter into healing you must welcome home the enemy
your heart will tell you stories that your mind will not believe
as your body reawakens
it will flood your days with memories, dreaded memories
and the power of that birthing will bring you to your knees

when you enter into healing i'll be sending all my strength to you
when you enter into healing i'll be there to beat the drum
as you learn to face the feelings
your own courage will amaze you
nothing can faze you
as you find the wings of freedom that you need to overcome

when you enter into healing you bring the greatest gift to me
and to every child who suffers still and believes she is alone
with each voice that breaks the silence
is a choice to claim a victory, one more victory
and make the world a little safer
for every child to grow
in his own home

opening up

winter to winter i stood by the door
a stairway imposing and dark
as seen from the ocean one might fear the shore
but i long to feel my heart

opening up
opening up
something secret's escaping
opening up
opening up
something sacred is falling down

deep in the darkness ancient commands
sweep my intentions aside
like barricades keeping the sea from the sand
but i feel a rising tide

opening up
opening up
something secret's escaping
opening up
opening up
something sacred is falling down

all the king's horses and all the king's men
they could not put him together again
all the king's horses and all the king's men
they could not put him together

i must light a candle to demons denied
to what's lost and what still remains
for all i've kept hidden i don't have to hide
and the choices I've regained

opening up...

warrior

i was a shy and lonely child with the heavens in my eyes
and as i walked along the lane i heard the echoes of her cries
i cannot fight i cannot a fierce warrior be
it's not my nature nor my teaching
it is the womanhood in me

i was a lost and angry youth there were no tears in my eyes
i saw no justice in my world only the echoes of her cries
i cannot fight i cannot a fierce warrior be
it's not my nature nor my teaching
it is the womanhood in me

i am an older woman now and i will heed my own cries
and i will a fierce warrior be till not another woman dies
i can and will fight
i can and will a warrior be
it is my nature and my duty
it is the womanhood in me

i can and will fight
i can and will a warrior be
it is my nature and my duty
it is the sisterhood in me

thank you song

when there's light in the soul there is beauty in the person
when there's beauty in the person there is harmony in the home
when there's harmony in the home there is honor in the nation
when there's honor in the nation there is peace in the world*

i want to sing a thank you song to all of my earth angels
yes i want to sing the praises of the people i have known
i want to bless each and every face, every smile, every hand on my shoulder
all of you who held the space when i thought i was alone

i'm talking to you all of my sisters who walked this road beside me
i'm talking to you all of my brothers who have helped to bring me home
to my teachers to my lovers to my husband to my children
to the healers to the warriors whose only weapon is love

i want to honor my ancestors, all who came before me
and i honor this life's family for the love that they have shown

when there's light in the soul there is beauty in the person
when there's beauty in the person there is harmony in the home
when there's harmony in the home there is honor in the nation
when there's honor in the nation there is peace in the world